Bad Day

I'm sorry but I'm absolutely knackered so will not be writing my usual essay, but instead I'll just sum up my day in a few bullet points:

-I had a family problem

-People laughed at me

-People stared

-Had a stressful day with my coursework

-I got two detentions

-And i've had to wash my hair twice (stupid cream)

SIGH i'm glad this day is over to be honest

I was thinking today, I have absolutely no-one to talk to about my skin, I think this why I console in this blog, cause no-one I know can understand it all, no-one knows what i'm having to go through and what bugs me, people who SAY they know how i feel when they have no clue. I just want to talk to someone who can understand me. What makes me feel worse is that there are hundreds of people out there in the World who feel EXACTLY how i feel, but there's no way for us ever to meet ... such a shame! Remember my e-mail address is: lizzy_trueman@hotmail.co.uk if you ever want to send me a message

Talk soon bloggers, lets hope kate and william have a wonderful day tomorrow <3

Lucky in love

So I have a confession to tell you all (all being the empty space which is the internet), don't really know if anyone's reading this but whatever I shall continue ... I went in to school with tights today! I know i know! I'm a coward, sue me? But the weather was cold this morning so I decided to take the risk and it turns out half my year were wearing tights too so there's really nothing to report back.

But I have something cheerful to report back ... for once! I am very lucky, I have an amazing family, an amazing group of friends who help me through everything and without them I could be nothing but also, I have an amazing boyfriend. Sorry for all those who are single reading this, I promise I won't go on that much. Well anyway, he's incredibly caring, patient and loving and he always seems to put a smile on my face. A lot of the time I'm upset and down about the way that I look, wishing I looked better, wishing I could wear shorts, always wishing! But no matter what, whether I'm caked in makeup trying to hide away from the truth or just covered in my eczema cream, he always calls me beautiful and I honestly couldn't be happier! And I am glad to say that next week it shall be our half anniversary (6 months) so I've decided it's about time I actually bother to get him a gift so any help on presents would be muchly appreciated! :) But ... yes, there is always a but ... we started dating nearly 6 months ago, the problem is, my eczema only flared up about 4 months ago ... so I kind-of feel guilty, he went into this relationship with a clear skinned girl who was bubbly and cheerful and now he's dating a patchy girl who cries most of the time. I sometimes feel as if maybe it would just be easier to stop it now, I mean from what it seems now, I have no future. The likeliness of being able to get through pregnancy is slim (as I also have a stomach ulcer but that's another story), I will never be able to cuddle at night due to a constant demand of cream, I will always be looking at my skin and no matter what, I will never feel beautiful in myself again. I know it may not sound that much, but looking in the mirror every day and not being able to stand the sight of your own figure facing you is a horrible thing, but a thing I need to suffer. Like is there any point of me bothering with make up any more? I mean no matter what I'll still have this horrid skin. It also means we can't really get physically close, just the thought of him touching my skin anywhere repulses me, plus the fact that i feel constantly uncomfortable all the time doesn't help! But somehow, he pulls through and for that I am lucky, truly lucky, and I will never even think about forgetting that any day soon!

This is dedicated to my amazing boyfriend who has helped me through so much! When everyone else would call me ugly you always called me beautiful, I would be no where without you!

The sock fiasco!

So as eczema is primarily a stress-related skin condition, and i'm obviously a very stressed person I have now decided to use this to release some stress. Some people meditate, I blog. So what's on my mind you ask me Facebook? Well ... Tomorrow I am sent back to what I refer to as prison, also known as school, and as one day flows into another and winter becomes spring, we are now forced to wear socks instead of tights. It never really hit me before but the minute I pulled those ugly white socks out I stopped. MY LEGS! So I'm lucky enough to be able to control the eczema on my face and on my neck and shoulders ... well it's bearable, well definitely not as bad as my legs. My legs are probably the worst affected area. Because at the end of the day, you can cover your legs with tights but you can't cover your face ... unless you're religious, and I'm not so ... well anyway, I COULD cover my legs.. but now, everyone will be faced with the red patchiness. Walking down the street in the pass, I've had some odd looks to my shoulder-face region but considering the difference between my face and my legs I have no idea how people are going to react, and I've heard all the rumours about other girls who have suffered through this and been called "contangious" "blotch" and what not, and I barely fit in at my school as it is, how the HELL am I going to fit in looking like I've been hit my rapid red spray paint. How are people going to react tomorrow? I don't know, will I be a coward and go in tights and just be odd? Most probably, but anyway, I'll keep you in touch with how it goes, fingers crossed!

Let's start blogging...

Hi, my name's lizzy, I'm 15 years old and on the 18th December 2010 I contracted a condition called extreme eczema. Eczema is a common condition that 3 out of 5 people have, it's a dryness of the skin usually in quite moist areas, such as the back of your knees and the inside of your elbows, where your skin grows rashes becomes itchy and can easily tear causing cuts. Extreme eczema is the same thing except all over your body including your ears, your feet and your hands. Extreme eczema is a nuisance and quite unattractive, especially as I have now lost the ability to smile, but considering what else I could have had I am very lucky and every day I count my lucky stars. But some people aren't as lucky as I am.

I was inspired by my best friend who has Icthyosis, an extreme skin condition much worse than my own which is also extremely rare, but she is brave and one of the most amazing people i have ever met. And so I have decided with her inspiration that we should all bring awareness to the prejudice some people have to suffer due to a condition they were born with or a disfigurement later on in life. Katie Piper (known from her show "Katie: My Beautiful Friends") is also doing a similar thing on a massive scale and it has also inspired me to be a better person in life.

I have decided that every week I shall add to this blog documenting my feelings, fears and facts that I have faced when suffering with eczema throughout my secondary school years. I hope that maybe somebody will see this blog and draw inspiration from what i've been through to change their own life and what they're planning to do. Also, I am thinking about making a counseling group, which sounds awful I know, but maybe for a group of people who suffer from any time of skin related conditions to come together and talk with one another and just have a free haven where they are able to be proud of what they go through on a day to day life instead of covering it all up, if you're interested please contact me, I don't really know how this whole blogging thing works so just e-mail me at : lizzy_trueman@hotmail.co.uk

Also, if you just want to e-mail me for a chat at any point i'd be happy to talk :D

I'm sorry to start my blogging days quite depressingly but once we get all the depressing shinanigns out of the way we can look forward to the happy future, so I promise to back my blogs a lot more cheerful and happier than this one. But no matter where you are in the World or what you're suffering with just remember that your loved ones will keep you strong ♥